The holocene

The holocene epoch began following the last major ice age. Signalling the dawn of a new millenia, roughly twelve hundred decades ago, this term encompasses the last 11,700 years when the stage was set for agriculture and civilization to develop.

The modern man came into the scene in the last millisecond of history’s 12-hour shift. In this millisecond, our wise men built empires and pioneered imagined realities.

The collective human existence describes the rise of a species so powerful, we somehow altered the natural rhythm of Earth.

Few species have altered our planet the way we have, for the better and for worse. It is fascinating how important we believe we are yet how infinitisimal we really are.

Although the era describes our planet’s geographic history, I can’t help but see it as a wake up call.

Presently, there is an ongoing call among geologists to end the holocene, recognizing the start of the anthropocene. The epoch is defined as a proposed period dating from the commencement of significant human impact on Earth’s geology and ecosystems. In other words, a new period built on anthropogenic climate change.

It is unfathomable how we believe that our existence triumphs the planet’s vitality. While each of us will only survive a mere century, Earth will survive for eons.

We are only a small corner in a large museum. The only trace we will leave is the damage we have done to our earth, and will continue to do, as we walk down our paths of life.

[The holocene; Drafted 2021/04/19]

The animal kingdom.

humans are animals but animals aren’t human. the modern taxonomic system establishes hierarchy; an organizational means placing Homo sapiens under the kingdom, Animalia. 

our task for millennia was simply to survive. the cosmos rained down, time reset; we created meaning in order for the sun to rise and fall. 

except the sun rises and falls just by the earth spinning on its own axis. the earth has done this since the dawn of life. 

supernatural does not mean superhuman, so why do we roam this earth believing we are more than we really are.

necessity is the mother of invention but not all humans share the same capacity to nurture.

[The animal kingdom, an afterthought of The holocene; Drafted 2026/06/30]

she is the lunar eclipse. 

the sun & moon, both at once.

the sun pulling earth along its orbit

the moon defining earth’s waves, giving the ocean a chance at life

she is day before she is night.

she changes over time, but always returns to herself 

she doesn’t know it all the time, but she is whole, just as she is

she enters phases, but always grounded by a piece of herself she’ll never let go

she changes over time—rest assured, she will return to herself when it’s time

the sun pulls on the moon, twice as much as the earth does

she is harder on herself than anyone else

she spends all day nurturing others,

she spends all night guiding the rest.

without the sun, there would be no moonlight

her guiding light at dusk exists because of her beaming light at dawn

eclipses occur between zero and three times a year, 

a total eclipse happening once every 3 years 

the whole world stares in awe of her, only once in a while

most of them forgetting all the eclipses she went through in those years.

without the sun, there would be no eclipse

without the light, there would be no marvel 

without the dark, there would be no spectacle 

she is the lunar eclipse;

the sun & moon, both at once. 

it comes in waves;

promotions and progress. for me, it’s never been a constant flowing stream. looking back, i see a clear pattern of thinking it’s the end of the world because nothing is going my way, then a quick 360 shift happens. now i’m thinking it’s the end of the world because too much is going my way. the ebbs and flows throw me off balance: every. single. time. i’m always diving head-first into a rapid. you can probably imagine how hard that would be to catch my breath again. lately, i’ve been recognizing this cycle exists and coming to terms with it. it’s genuinely okay for growth to feel stagnant at times. i don’t need to dive off the deep end all the time and there is truly no need to fight the current. it’s not even the job offers, extracurriculars, and academic opportunities. i’m talking about growth as a human being.

everything comes and goes in waves.

Object Permanence

Yes, scars fade.

As the days turn to night, as the leaves fall down, our wounds become lighter until they’re nowhere to be found.

What took months to heal no longer serves as a permanent reminder;

We found comfort amid the Winter Blues.

As the nights turn to day, on the sunniest days, when our ivory skin glow under the warm, Summer rays;

Our complexion still find ways to reveal what’s hidden underneath.

They praise us for our strength, but you and I both know it’s only skin-deep.

No, they’re never really gone for good.

the bracelet theory

If you’ve heard of the bracelet theory before, it’s essentially a metaphor to describe the complex relationship dynamic between two people. Two individuals are figuratively connected by a bracelet; imagine a string tied around them. This connection is strong and secure until one of the two leans in a little too close. “Too close” can be achieved in many different ways, such as one person giving more attention, energy, and time to the other.

As a result, the bracelet now hangs loosely around the two. In order to strengthen the connection again, the other individual takes a step back so the string can once again remain tight around the two. A continuation of this occurrence prompts a cycle of running and chasing, giving rise to an unhealthy affinity among the two.

I care too deeply, and at times, I must remind myself to give myself the same energy as I give to others. This does not only apply to people, but the things we love.

Sometimes we need to take a step back to move forward, stronger.

forever young

by Alphaville

I first heard this song at my sister’s grade seven graduation ceremony. Seeing her walk across the stage was a moment that my nine year old self would hold onto until the day I got to do so myself. This song takes me to mine, that would come four years after hers.

I look too far ahead into the future.

Life is a short trip, the music’s for the sad man.

The saying goes: life is short; the world is wide. Knowing this, I can’t help but feel so small, so infinitesimal. It has been difficult coming to terms with this fact. I feel that because life is so short, I cannot bear to lose anyone around me. I don’t want to break down walls all over again. I don’t want to start over again.

So many adventures couldn’t happen today. So many songs we forgot to play.

These adventures we are waiting for, will disappear before our eyes, sooner or later. The thing about moments, what makes each so special, is that we never know when the last time will be: the last time we played in the neighbourhood, the last all nighter we pulled for a project, the last game we had, the last test we stressed out for, and the last time we joked the way we did, with the people around us, on a regular Thursday. We should cherish every moment, as though it is our final; it might just be our last.

So many dreams swinging out of the blue.

I am not the same person I was yesterday, nor will I be the same person tomorrow. I graduate high school in less than a month. I wonder who I will be then, what dreams she will have, and what plans she will make.

As for now, I will enjoy the present.

I want to be forever young.

Forever Young, by Alphaville

To the west

A high-speed train runs over the mountain, through the valley, and towards the west coast

Someone once told me the west coast is the best coast, so I made my way there in a flash

Along the way, the sunset that we were chasing turned into a ghost

And when darkness entered, I wanted to dash

Days passed and sunrise came up again

Except this time I could not see

We reached the west and I hopped off the train

But it was no longer where I wanted to be

I was so busy chasing sunset in the west

That I missed sunrise in the east

the grand design

the wise man once said that everything will unravel the way they are made to.

the grand design.

except i’ve never been the type to follow through, and come in clutch; always last minute, but never the buzzer beater type clutch.

anyone who knows me knows i have a desire for zeal; i see far too many future possibilities to focus on just one thing at a time.

passions, with the s, the plural tense

to me, “passion” feels like a box with four air holes punched in with safety pins, that one would be expected to breathe from.

i received my fair share of disappointing news this past year,

and i had only ever planned to rely on my natural born abilities, gifts, and the grand design to carry me through.

this time, however, i learned that the grand design requires more than fate alone.

there is something greater out there and it is not far from reach.

here’s to the start of the blueprint.

To regret –

Dear Regret,

I’ve spent quite some time thinking about you.

I used to hate it when you came to visit. Truthfully, I wished we’d never met. Every time I thought of you, it drove me out of orbit. The stars dimmed, planets collided, and I stopped in my track to show you around— every, single, time.

Like clockwork, you’d come around time after time. All the things I could’ve done, all the things I wish I’d done. You were a reminder of the things I didn’t do.

A few years ago I decided I didn’t want you in my life anymore. I tried to ghost you; you refused to leave. It’s not like I could’ve called the cops on you either— we have too much history. I would never.

I tried to distance myself, but I never moved homes. You knew where I lived. To you, that alone was a free invitation. I wouldn’t even know when you’d come around.

Something changed though. I don’t know when, and if it was me, or if it was you, but I don’t mind your company anymore.

It was nice seeing you this week. You didn’t scold me like before. You didn’t tell me the things you want to change about me. You didn’t even get angry when I chose to call it a night.

You told me that I should’ve held onto the memories longer. This, I could’ve done by photographing the good times. Frozen in time, so I could keep them in my back pocket and save it for a colder day.

This time, you were kinder and more understanding. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Olyvia

By the time the candle dims.

We all think that we have time, but how bright will our flame last?

The world is moving fast. I have to move faster.

There are twenty-four hours in a day, sixty minutes in an hour, and with every blink, leaves a second from the plentiful sixty.

Yesterday, I burned two candlesticks. The flames swayed in tandem, back and forth. Time almost stopped. It looked like dancing until it stole the air around me.

It took six hours for the light to flicker away. Watching it burn was like watching time pass.

Time passes fast.

And the sparks can only last for so long. It’s impossible to work faster than time.

At least my mind runs marathons around it before I give out. Time will not stop for me.