Dear Regret,
I’ve spent quite some time thinking about you.
I used to hate it when you came to visit. Truthfully, I wished we’d never met. Every time I thought of you, it drove me out of orbit. The stars dimmed, planets collided, and I stopped in my track to show you around— every, single, time.
Like clockwork, you’d come around time after time. All the things I could’ve done, all the things I wish I’d done. You were a reminder of the things I didn’t do.
A few years ago I decided I didn’t want you in my life anymore. I tried to ghost you; you refused to leave. It’s not like I could’ve called the cops on you either— we have too much history. I would never.
I tried to distance myself, but I never moved homes. You knew where I lived. To you, that alone was a free invitation. I wouldn’t even know when you’d come around.
Something changed though. I don’t know when, and if it was me, or if it was you, but I don’t mind your company anymore.
It was nice seeing you this week. You didn’t scold me like before. You didn’t tell me the things you want to change about me. You didn’t even get angry when I chose to call it a night.
You told me that I should’ve held onto the memories longer. This, I could’ve done by photographing the good times. Frozen in time, so I could keep them in my back pocket and save it for a colder day.
This time, you were kinder and more understanding. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Olyvia
Olyvia Guo 